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lliiraContent: ableism, dominance and submission, patriarchy, rape culture, melodrama
I think part of why I got so upset over this book last time was that I was getting a cold. Hopefully I will be able to distance myself from it a bit more tonight.
Bella asks Edward ("severely") if he has multiple personality disorder on page 82. I laughed. That does sound like something a teenager, at the end of her rope and ignorant about psychology, would say.
He berates her. Bella caves, and asks him what he wants to ask. He mentions next Saturday, "the day of the spring dance." She interrupts him, asking if he's trying to be funny, and he tells her she's "doing it again" (83).
And Bella apologizes.
Edward acts like he has the right to berate Bella for being annoyed with him. Bella acts like Edward has the right to berate her for being annoyed with him. She stands there, listening to what he has to say, as if she has no choice -- as if he is her father, insisting she listen to him. Edward has treated Bella with disdain and cruelty, but she is the one apologizing.
Edward thinks he is above Bella in some hierarchy, and therefore allowed to boss her around. Bella agrees. Boys can tell girls what to do. Girls must apologize for standing up for themselves in the slightest, and they must always listen to boys, no matter what. A girl does not have the option to walk away from a boy who wants something from her.
In the world of Twilight, every single person lives in a dominant/submissive relationship. Males are default dominant over females. Females can manipulate their way into dominating males. No one has consented to this, but the concept of consent does not exist anyway.
Stephenie Meyer did not simply forget to develop a relationship between Edward, the dominant, and Bella, the submissive. They have not had a single pleasant conversation, let alone a conversation in which Bella consented to submit to Edward. Edward would make an atrocious dominant anyway: he's a liar with zero self-esteem who condescends to and insults Bella. He's an abuser. This is where Meyer's rushed the relationship. Edward is emotionally abusing and manipulating Bella as if they've been in a relationship for a while, not as if he's only recently met her and not gone on one date with her.
Edward asks Bella if she wants a ride to Seattle on Saturday. He got the information that she was going to Seattle by listening in on her conversations. She did have one of them while sitting next to him in class, where he couldn't help but overhear, so this wouldn't be creepy if it weren't Edward.
"With who?" I asked, mystified.
Bella's not the brightest bulb, but I don't think she's that clueless. This is a lesser offense than the Impossible Ice Storm, but it still breaks suspension of disbelief. Then again, if Bella had not said that silly thing, we would not get this wonderful line:
"Myself, obviously." He enunciated every syllable, as if her were talking to someone mentally handicapped.
If Bella hadn't said something so out-of-characterly clueless, that would be one Edwardian anti-Bella insult that the world would miss out on, and one ableist line Stephenie Meyer wouldn't be able to write. Totally worth it.
Edward tells Bella he's not sure if her truck can make it to Seattle. He's only offering for her benefit, trying to take care of her, see? No ulterior motives on his part, just largesse gallantly extended to this lesser being. She wouldn't be so ungrateful as to refuse that, would she?
Bella tells Edward that her truck works fine and tries to walk away. She's "too surprised to maintain the same level of anger." Surprise does not make me less angry, especially when that surprise is because of obvious manipulation. Am I the weird one here, or is Bella? Okay, she doesn't see the manipulation, but this is a boy who has been a jerk to her pretty much constantly. Now he expects her to accept a ride alone with him all the way to Seattle?! I'd be furious. I'd also be frightened.
Edward asks Bella if her truck can make it to Seattle on one tank of gas. Bella says, "I don't see how that is any of your business" (83). Good girl! Then she thinks this:
Stupid, shiny Volvo owner.
I love that line. It's terrible! It implies that Edward is shiny! Which he is, but we don't know that yet. Is this foreshadowing of Edward's sparkliness? Could it be intentional? That's even worse! I love how bad that line is so much, I made a picture.
Edward tells Bella, "the wasting of finite resources is everyone's business."
Yep. If you don't let this boy drive you, alone, in his car, to a city four hours and eighteen minutes away, you are destroying the environment, Bella.
Bella's not buying it, and says she thought Edward didn't want to be friends. He says "it would be better if we weren't friends, not that I didn't want to be" (84). Edward's condescending, manipulative, abusive, and pedantic. Hot.
Bella responds by sucking the poor, tiny, whimpering, lonely bit of writing ability Stephenie Meyer possesses out of her entirely.
"Oh thanks, now that's all cleared up." Heavy sarcasm.
Let's pretend that Stephenie Meyer wrote that in a way that makes some sense. We do not need to be told Bella says that line sarcastically. The dialog makes it obvious.
Now let's look at what Meyer actually wrote. This is not a play you are marking up, Stephenie. You are not a director. What you just wrote makes no bloody sense. I don't mind sentence fragments, but this is ridiculous. "Heavy sarcasm" does not pass. This is the way someone jots down a dream they're trying to remember. It is not writing. Writing is a craft. It takes effort. I have expended far more thought on that nothing you created than you did, Ms. Meyer, and I've only expended three minutes' thought on it.
Our two twits get under a roof, so the rain no longer obscures Edward's face. Therefore Bella stops being able to think straight. I'm going to give this a pass for now because Edward is a vampire. Vampires clouding peoples' thoughts with their magical sexiness is a common thing, so if it turns out that's why Bella can't think straight while looking at him, it's acceptable.
"It would be more... prudent for you not to be my friend," he explained. "But I'm tired of trying to stay away from you, Bella" (84).
I'll admit it: that's kind of sexy. All the second line, I think. The first line would be better as, "it would be more prudent for me not to be your friend." I feel like there's something vaguely victim-blamey about the first line as is. The ominous ellipse is also silly. I think the reason the second line works is not because the book has earned it, but because it taps into memories of attractive heroes who say things like that to interesting heroines. "In vain have I struggled. It will not do." That's a story I like, when it's told well.
The first line there also sounds off, because it does not sound like something a contemporary American teenager would say, especially the word "prudent." That's likely intentional, to make Edward sound like someone from 1918. However, it doesn't sound like something an American seventeen-year old from 1918 would say, either. It sounds more like 1818.
Bella tells us Edward's "eyes were gloriously intense" and "his voice smoldering". Well, that de-hotted the scene handily. What does "gloriously intense" even mean here? Now I'm picturing Edward as a silent film star trying to transition to talkies, and overacting ludicrously. He's going to end up playing bridge with Norma Desmond.
Bella forgets to breathe. Umm. Either vampire sexiness is even more over the top than in most stories, or Bella is really sensitive. She's so excited and, quite possibly, spent, that she only nods her agreement to go to Seattle with Edward.
Then Edward warns Bella she should stay away from him again. Dum dum dummmm! All the melodrama of a silent film, none of the competence.
I think part of why I got so upset over this book last time was that I was getting a cold. Hopefully I will be able to distance myself from it a bit more tonight.
Bella asks Edward ("severely") if he has multiple personality disorder on page 82. I laughed. That does sound like something a teenager, at the end of her rope and ignorant about psychology, would say.
He berates her. Bella caves, and asks him what he wants to ask. He mentions next Saturday, "the day of the spring dance." She interrupts him, asking if he's trying to be funny, and he tells her she's "doing it again" (83).
And Bella apologizes.
Edward acts like he has the right to berate Bella for being annoyed with him. Bella acts like Edward has the right to berate her for being annoyed with him. She stands there, listening to what he has to say, as if she has no choice -- as if he is her father, insisting she listen to him. Edward has treated Bella with disdain and cruelty, but she is the one apologizing.
Edward thinks he is above Bella in some hierarchy, and therefore allowed to boss her around. Bella agrees. Boys can tell girls what to do. Girls must apologize for standing up for themselves in the slightest, and they must always listen to boys, no matter what. A girl does not have the option to walk away from a boy who wants something from her.
In the world of Twilight, every single person lives in a dominant/submissive relationship. Males are default dominant over females. Females can manipulate their way into dominating males. No one has consented to this, but the concept of consent does not exist anyway.
Stephenie Meyer did not simply forget to develop a relationship between Edward, the dominant, and Bella, the submissive. They have not had a single pleasant conversation, let alone a conversation in which Bella consented to submit to Edward. Edward would make an atrocious dominant anyway: he's a liar with zero self-esteem who condescends to and insults Bella. He's an abuser. This is where Meyer's rushed the relationship. Edward is emotionally abusing and manipulating Bella as if they've been in a relationship for a while, not as if he's only recently met her and not gone on one date with her.
Edward asks Bella if she wants a ride to Seattle on Saturday. He got the information that she was going to Seattle by listening in on her conversations. She did have one of them while sitting next to him in class, where he couldn't help but overhear, so this wouldn't be creepy if it weren't Edward.
"With who?" I asked, mystified.
Bella's not the brightest bulb, but I don't think she's that clueless. This is a lesser offense than the Impossible Ice Storm, but it still breaks suspension of disbelief. Then again, if Bella had not said that silly thing, we would not get this wonderful line:
"Myself, obviously." He enunciated every syllable, as if her were talking to someone mentally handicapped.
If Bella hadn't said something so out-of-characterly clueless, that would be one Edwardian anti-Bella insult that the world would miss out on, and one ableist line Stephenie Meyer wouldn't be able to write. Totally worth it.
Edward tells Bella he's not sure if her truck can make it to Seattle. He's only offering for her benefit, trying to take care of her, see? No ulterior motives on his part, just largesse gallantly extended to this lesser being. She wouldn't be so ungrateful as to refuse that, would she?
Bella tells Edward that her truck works fine and tries to walk away. She's "too surprised to maintain the same level of anger." Surprise does not make me less angry, especially when that surprise is because of obvious manipulation. Am I the weird one here, or is Bella? Okay, she doesn't see the manipulation, but this is a boy who has been a jerk to her pretty much constantly. Now he expects her to accept a ride alone with him all the way to Seattle?! I'd be furious. I'd also be frightened.
Edward asks Bella if her truck can make it to Seattle on one tank of gas. Bella says, "I don't see how that is any of your business" (83). Good girl! Then she thinks this:
Stupid, shiny Volvo owner.
I love that line. It's terrible! It implies that Edward is shiny! Which he is, but we don't know that yet. Is this foreshadowing of Edward's sparkliness? Could it be intentional? That's even worse! I love how bad that line is so much, I made a picture.
Edward tells Bella, "the wasting of finite resources is everyone's business."
Yep. If you don't let this boy drive you, alone, in his car, to a city four hours and eighteen minutes away, you are destroying the environment, Bella.
Bella's not buying it, and says she thought Edward didn't want to be friends. He says "it would be better if we weren't friends, not that I didn't want to be" (84). Edward's condescending, manipulative, abusive, and pedantic. Hot.
Bella responds by sucking the poor, tiny, whimpering, lonely bit of writing ability Stephenie Meyer possesses out of her entirely.
"Oh thanks, now that's all cleared up." Heavy sarcasm.
Let's pretend that Stephenie Meyer wrote that in a way that makes some sense. We do not need to be told Bella says that line sarcastically. The dialog makes it obvious.
Now let's look at what Meyer actually wrote. This is not a play you are marking up, Stephenie. You are not a director. What you just wrote makes no bloody sense. I don't mind sentence fragments, but this is ridiculous. "Heavy sarcasm" does not pass. This is the way someone jots down a dream they're trying to remember. It is not writing. Writing is a craft. It takes effort. I have expended far more thought on that nothing you created than you did, Ms. Meyer, and I've only expended three minutes' thought on it.
Our two twits get under a roof, so the rain no longer obscures Edward's face. Therefore Bella stops being able to think straight. I'm going to give this a pass for now because Edward is a vampire. Vampires clouding peoples' thoughts with their magical sexiness is a common thing, so if it turns out that's why Bella can't think straight while looking at him, it's acceptable.
"It would be more... prudent for you not to be my friend," he explained. "But I'm tired of trying to stay away from you, Bella" (84).
I'll admit it: that's kind of sexy. All the second line, I think. The first line would be better as, "it would be more prudent for me not to be your friend." I feel like there's something vaguely victim-blamey about the first line as is. The ominous ellipse is also silly. I think the reason the second line works is not because the book has earned it, but because it taps into memories of attractive heroes who say things like that to interesting heroines. "In vain have I struggled. It will not do." That's a story I like, when it's told well.
The first line there also sounds off, because it does not sound like something a contemporary American teenager would say, especially the word "prudent." That's likely intentional, to make Edward sound like someone from 1918. However, it doesn't sound like something an American seventeen-year old from 1918 would say, either. It sounds more like 1818.
Bella tells us Edward's "eyes were gloriously intense" and "his voice smoldering". Well, that de-hotted the scene handily. What does "gloriously intense" even mean here? Now I'm picturing Edward as a silent film star trying to transition to talkies, and overacting ludicrously. He's going to end up playing bridge with Norma Desmond.
Bella forgets to breathe. Umm. Either vampire sexiness is even more over the top than in most stories, or Bella is really sensitive. She's so excited and, quite possibly, spent, that she only nods her agreement to go to Seattle with Edward.
Then Edward warns Bella she should stay away from him again. Dum dum dummmm! All the melodrama of a silent film, none of the competence.
