Lliira

 ... and it was actually good.

In the dream book, the chief of police, who had been a good friend and mentor to Anita through many books, was murdered. This character does not actually exist, but I think he was an expy of Zebrowski (sp?). The second-in-command who "inherited" his role -- which I think is not how it actually works -- was Richard-as-a-cop. Anita had a strained on-again/off-again thing with Richard, a realistic and not hugely obnoxious relationship where you knew they would eventually end up together but meanwhile were each other's best friends and irritated each other constantly.

( The penis parade was gone )

CN: Anita Blake book

Chapter 25

The chapter starts with Anita leaving the bedroom to go to the bathroom. But when the last chapter ended, she was still in the bathroom. The last time she told us her location, it was to tell us that Remus was "invading our bath" (222). Between chapters 24 and 25, LKH forgot where Anita was. The best thing about this is that there's no reason for it. Anita tells us she leaves the bedroom (which she was not in) to go to the bathroom (where she already was) so she can tell us that the vampire Elinore is in the bedroom when she "returns" to the bedroom.

( Read more... )

Anita's relationship with Richard is written badly, as everything is written badly in these books. However, it has far more emotion than any other of Anita's relationships. She very clearly does want to be with Richard. All the other penii are smoke and air, easily distilled into a couple traits. JC is a manipulative rapist with bad fashion sense. Nathaniel is a wereorchid. Micah is Anita's yes-man with an average-sized penis that we are supposed to think is huge. Jason is a smutty fuckbuddy. Requiem quotes poetry. The rest of the harem is a cloud of eyes and hair. Richard is the only one with any complexity or inner life. He's the only one whom I can believe keeps existing when Anita's not in the room. He's also the only one whom I believe loves her, or indeed cares for her in any way beyond a wet n'tight place to stick his dick. Actually, that's not quite true; I believe Jean-Claude cares for her as a tool with which he can gain power.

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CN: Anita Blake book, pregnancy, woman treated as nothing but a womb, bestiality

I apologize in advance for not being very detailed with this chapter. It starts with something that upsets me so much, I have decided to skim it.

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CN: Anita Blake book, phallocentrism. 

Time for sex for 16 pages. I'm not sure how to spork this. If you know anything about LKH, you already know what happens. She cannot name body parts; she does not seem to know the clitoris exists; she's phallus-obsessed; she has characters do things that aren't possible; she writes like someone who has never had sex, seen sex, or read about sex; and she writes like someone who does not inhabit a human body.

( Prude porn )

CN: Anita Blake book, pregnancy

18 more pages of talking until another sex scene. I've been reading old LKH wank, and she said at one point that people upset by her books should go read books with less sex in them. Like what, Dr. Seuss? I was led to believe LKH's later Anita Blake books have all had lots of sex in them. I think I was misled. What this book has, so far anyway, is lots of people standing around whining about sex. How hot and edgy. It's also really boring to spork. It is much easier to make fun of sex scenes than of this endless blabber.

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CN: Anita Blake book, pregnancy

The last chapter ended with a hint that Richard was going to kick the shit out of Nathaniel. I would have enjoyed that. Or Richard could have tried and been thwarted by the other people in the room. Something was going to happen, anyway. But of course we can't have that. All hints of plot and/or character development must be destroyed.

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CN: Anita Blake book

The last chapter ended up being about how Anita would be fucking Sampson. Or that's what I thought it was about. So I expected her to be fucking Sampson this chapter. Silly me, thinking talking about sex would lead to sex in a supposedly sexy book.

Nope, this chapter is more talking. It's mostly Anita and Richard griping at each other. Hawt! The sfdebris guy said a scene in Enterprise was like a porn in which the woman complains about the upholstery the whole time. (http://sfdebris.com/videos/startrek/e101.php, scene starts 8:52 into part 2.) That's what this is like, except without the pretty people to stare at. It's not sexy arguing; it's petty bickering. And Anita continues to be self-centered and insufferable.

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CN: Anita Blake book

I wrote myself into an oubliette in what I'm working on, and I have no idea how to get out, which means I might have to throw out about 10,000 words, so I decided to do the next Danse Macabre chapter. Since I'm in such a good mood.

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CN: Anita Blake book, rape treated as a fine thing for good characters to commit

Duamuteffe had a running count of how much action there was in LKH's supposed action book Affliction. I am going to do something similar: how much sex is there in this supposed sexy book? I'll include foreplay -- what little there is of it. So far we have 5.25 pages of sex, out of 90 pages total. There was also a little bit of smoochery. No consent. Even when Anita made out with Micah and Nathaniel in the first chapter, they did it in front of an appalled onlooker and were obviously getting off on forcing voyeurism on her.

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