Yeah, there's no problem at all with Bella thinking, "wow, this guy's hot," and being nervous around him because of it. But she doesn't care about anything else at all when it comes to him, at this point anyway. Plus it's incredibly boring to read. Yes, Meyer, we get that Edward is pretty. Stop informing us of this fact constantly.
But asking Meyer to stop beating the reader over the head with something is a lost cause. At least she doesn't have Bella think about how pretty Edward is as often as Bella thinks about what a stupid terrible horrible useless person Bella is. The book would actually be more palatable if it were written like your paragraph, because in your paragraph the narrator isn't saying, "and I'm sure I she thinks I am an incompetent loser because I am an incompetent loser I hate myself I hate everything" forty-five times.
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winterfish
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Date: 2012-04-04 08:08 am (UTC)Yeah, there's no problem at all with Bella thinking, "wow, this guy's hot," and being nervous around him because of it. But she doesn't care about anything else at all when it comes to him, at this point anyway. Plus it's incredibly boring to read. Yes, Meyer, we get that Edward is pretty. Stop informing us of this fact constantly.
But asking Meyer to stop beating the reader over the head with something is a lost cause. At least she doesn't have Bella think about how pretty Edward is as often as Bella thinks about what a stupid terrible horrible useless person Bella is. The book would actually be more palatable if it were written like your paragraph, because in your paragraph the narrator isn't saying, "and I'm sure I she thinks I am an incompetent loser because I am an incompetent loser I hate myself I hate everything" forty-five times.