Hi

[lliira]

I am going through a very weird time right now. My back is much better than it was and much better than the doctors told me it ever could be, and all because I had a depressive episode after moving and was therefore confined to bed for months. Which was against doctors' orders, and against a lot of new and fancy studies. They used to prescribe bed rest, now they prescribe surgery, I no longer trust anything they say. That extraordinarily painful surgery I got diminished my pain somewhat for a while, but nothing like bed rest did.

Also: I stopped taking 2/3 of the drugs doctors had prescribed. Or, I guess, 2/4, because I still take Meloxicam for period cramps. (Oh noes using a drug for other than it was prescribed!)  My brain is now able to do thinky things closer to the level it could before I threw out my back, but it hasn't flexed in a long time, so I'm out of practice. This is an extremely odd feeling.

So: I'm still in pain all the time, but it is bearable pain. It doesn't follow me into all of my dreams. It doesn't intrude on everything I do constantly. No more running, hiking, dancing, or everyday activities that require bending or standing much, but I can look around and go, "huh, it's actually nice to be alive." 

I have a lot of rage, though. Usually when I am angry, I am able to get it out (as I'm sure is noticeable) and move on and/or refine my views. Right now, I feel like if I start ranting about doctors and nurses and what they did and did not do for and to me, I would not stop.

Comments

[redsixwing]

In any case, I hope it works out well. :)