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lliiraI posted all parts of this on Tumblr first, but the length suits Dreamwidth better:
First raging:
First raging:
Smart Bitches, Trashy Books gave this book an A. And so far, I hate it. WAY more than I did that last romance novel I was laughing at. So far, I can’t even laugh at anything in this. (Except for testicles roiling. Do they do that?)
Irresponsible jackhole hero who neglects his wife. Okay, look, I can forgive romance heroes tons of horrible shit, but being a wealthy self-centered spoiled brat is already something that’s going to take starting a kitten orphanage to overcome. One who neglects his wife in an era when such neglect is nearly guaranteed to ruin her life? Because he just kinda assumed on no evidence that maybe she was a jerk, but he didn’t really know or care, and he didn’t think she was hot so whatever? Fuck off, dipstick.
Slut-shaming. This book was published in 2014. OMG there’s this woman who really likes to have lots of casual sex (and her husband is totally fine with this, so she’s not betraying anyone) TEH H0R. There’s also this dude who likes to have lots of casual sex, and of course he is portrayed as smokin’ hot and sexy. While the heroine is allowed to have sexual feelings (which of course she does not act upon), she is also so innocent that she gets embarrassed watching actors kiss onstage. Unlike the whorey slutwhore who wants to see pornographic pictures, the slut.
He suddenly, out of nowhere, wants to bone his wife (the heroine) because she looks fashionable now. She’s no longer “provincial” looking. Though actually I think he wants to bone his wife because he thinks his ex-friend did, and he would like his penis to go where his ex-friend’s has gone. I wish he was right about this! I would find this whole thing a lot more tolerable if the heroine had actually cheated on her shitheel of a husband with this hot dude and was rubbing it in his face. If any romance hero ever needed to be humiliated, it’s this guy.
Also, the heroine keeps mooning over how very very hot the hero is, even though he treated her like poop. He was emotionally neglectful, stuck his dick in her until he came (without ever kissing her what the everloving hell) so he could sire an heir, then didn’t gaf when she had a miscarriage. She didn’t know how to speak fluent French or do her hair in a fashionable way, so she wasn’t a person.
His horribleness just keeps getting piled on, and he has zero positive qualities. Like, am I supposed to want him to succeed because he’s physically attractive? Because he’s rich? Because he hasn’t screwed anyone but his wife since they were married? (I’d far rather a man cheat on me than treat me like this guy treats his wife.) Because he can speak French (and uses that fact to humiliate his wife)? Because his mother and sister died of measles? (At least this book shows the dangers of not vaccinating.) Let me tell you how many people’s mothers and sisters died of illness in the eighteenth century. A FUCKTON. And the vast majority didn’t have the kind of wealth, privilege, or eau de douche that this crapsack has.
In the last romance novel I read, the guy was an emo jerk whom I wanted to smack semi-regularly, but he wasn’t like this. Also, his emo-ness was kinda earned. I could look forward to his redemption; and though it wasn’t handled to my taste, I could believe in it. The hero of this novel, otoh, is poison. Emotionally neglectful, scornful, cruel, condescending, selfish, myopic, entitled.
The review I linked promises eroticism. Well, just because a guy can give you great orgasms, that doesn’t mean he’s an acceptable human being. I can’t believe this “hero” can give anyone a happy ever after. I think the heroine will disappoint his sense of entitlement again eventually, and she’ll be back to dancing for scraps.
I guess I can see why other people like this book. It’s pretty well-written (except for the roiling testicles.) It’s a page-turner, and I like a lot of the secondary characters. But I’ve had too much experience with emotional neglect and manipulation, and what the hero’s doing looks all too familiar to me. This hero is SO terrible. He is so terrible that if he were the villain, I’d say the writer had gone a bit too far in making him evil.
The book changes what and who it’s about in the last part. We still bop between the viewpoint of the “hero” (Damian, trying to rid himself of Worst Husband in the World trophy but failing 80% of the time) and the “heroine” (his wife Cynthia, she who is all sweetness and light, who likes sex but in a good and pure way so she is not an icky h0r). But the book suddenly becomes about Julian, Damian’s ex-friend who was sadly not actually ever Cynthia’s lover, though he did at least kiss her, which her husband completely neglected to do until he got jealous.
Someone paid a mustache-twirling villain to kidnap Cynthia, so Cynthia hath been kidnapped. To get something from either her or Damian, right? Because they’re nominally the hero and heroine? Nope: to get a MacGuffin from Julian. Julian makes a massive, as in huge, as in this MacGuffin is his life here, sacrifice to save her. It turns out not to be necessary, but he was willing to do it without a second thought. Damian… takes a couple stout men and the butler to save her. Will Damian use his wits to discover her? Or at least his connections? Nah, someone comes along and drops the solution in his lap. Okay, will he have to fight for her? Nope. Does he at least break down the door?
The butler takes care of that with his handy lockpicks. The butler has more to do with saving the heroine than the hero does. Was Damian at least clever in bringing the butler and his ninja skillz along? Of course not; Damian is shocked when the butler says, “yo, I can handle the door.” I have no idea why Damian dragged the butler along. Plot contrivance, obviously, but he had no in-character reason to do so.
At the end of the book, Julian is being all dark and mysterious about the MacGuffin, saying it was cursed. We don’t find out who ordered the kidnapping of the heroine. That’s obviously in reserve for the next book, of which Julian gets to stop being the covert hero and becomes the titular one. I’m okay with sequel teasing, but this is ridiculous. This book became the next book in its last part, with “buy the next book to see the resolution!” stamped on every page.
And finally: at the end, the heroine says she has always loved the hero, and he’s like “um why, when I was such a turd to you?” (Including sticking his dick in her when she was a virgin with no preparation, then saying “thanks” and taking off. I would not forgive that, but then I am not an angel like Cynthia.) She loves him because he’s handsome. That’s it. We are expected to believe that she fell in love with him because he is pretty, and that is what kept her from accepting the advances of an also pretty man who is sensitive, makes her laugh, and treats her well. Physical attraction can hit hard, but I am completely not okay with this.
Here is what I see in store for these two yahoos:
1) Cynthia does something that is not-quite perfect. Damian decides she is beneath his notice for this. Of course, Cynthia would never do anything imperfect, if we are to believe the book, so that brings in the second possibility…
2) Damian’s carriage overturns, giving him a terrible facial injury. Cynthia immediately falls out of “love” with him. She runs off with the butler.
I don’t believe the hero is redeemed. At least at the end, when Cynthia says she has always loved him solely because he is beautiful, I stopped feeling bad for her. This book made me feel filthy. I didn’t even like the sex scenes — maybe if different characters were doing the same things, the scenes would have been fine, but I didn’t want these people to be having sex.
And yet I’m going to read the sequel, because Julian is legitimately awesome. I hope he stays awesome when we can see inside his head.
Irresponsible jackhole hero who neglects his wife. Okay, look, I can forgive romance heroes tons of horrible shit, but being a wealthy self-centered spoiled brat is already something that’s going to take starting a kitten orphanage to overcome. One who neglects his wife in an era when such neglect is nearly guaranteed to ruin her life? Because he just kinda assumed on no evidence that maybe she was a jerk, but he didn’t really know or care, and he didn’t think she was hot so whatever? Fuck off, dipstick.
Slut-shaming. This book was published in 2014. OMG there’s this woman who really likes to have lots of casual sex (and her husband is totally fine with this, so she’s not betraying anyone) TEH H0R. There’s also this dude who likes to have lots of casual sex, and of course he is portrayed as smokin’ hot and sexy. While the heroine is allowed to have sexual feelings (which of course she does not act upon), she is also so innocent that she gets embarrassed watching actors kiss onstage. Unlike the whorey slutwhore who wants to see pornographic pictures, the slut.
It’s very early in the book, so maybe it will redeem itself. But it had better start on the redemption soon, or it’s going to have dug a pit too deep to crawl out of.
Second raging:
He suddenly, out of nowhere, wants to bone his wife (the heroine) because she looks fashionable now. She’s no longer “provincial” looking. Though actually I think he wants to bone his wife because he thinks his ex-friend did, and he would like his penis to go where his ex-friend’s has gone. I wish he was right about this! I would find this whole thing a lot more tolerable if the heroine had actually cheated on her shitheel of a husband with this hot dude and was rubbing it in his face. If any romance hero ever needed to be humiliated, it’s this guy.
Also, the heroine keeps mooning over how very very hot the hero is, even though he treated her like poop. He was emotionally neglectful, stuck his dick in her until he came (without ever kissing her what the everloving hell) so he could sire an heir, then didn’t gaf when she had a miscarriage. She didn’t know how to speak fluent French or do her hair in a fashionable way, so she wasn’t a person.
His horribleness just keeps getting piled on, and he has zero positive qualities. Like, am I supposed to want him to succeed because he’s physically attractive? Because he’s rich? Because he hasn’t screwed anyone but his wife since they were married? (I’d far rather a man cheat on me than treat me like this guy treats his wife.) Because he can speak French (and uses that fact to humiliate his wife)? Because his mother and sister died of measles? (At least this book shows the dangers of not vaccinating.) Let me tell you how many people’s mothers and sisters died of illness in the eighteenth century. A FUCKTON. And the vast majority didn’t have the kind of wealth, privilege, or eau de douche that this crapsack has.
In the last romance novel I read, the guy was an emo jerk whom I wanted to smack semi-regularly, but he wasn’t like this. Also, his emo-ness was kinda earned. I could look forward to his redemption; and though it wasn’t handled to my taste, I could believe in it. The hero of this novel, otoh, is poison. Emotionally neglectful, scornful, cruel, condescending, selfish, myopic, entitled.
The review I linked promises eroticism. Well, just because a guy can give you great orgasms, that doesn’t mean he’s an acceptable human being. I can’t believe this “hero” can give anyone a happy ever after. I think the heroine will disappoint his sense of entitlement again eventually, and she’ll be back to dancing for scraps.
I guess I can see why other people like this book. It’s pretty well-written (except for the roiling testicles.) It’s a page-turner, and I like a lot of the secondary characters. But I’ve had too much experience with emotional neglect and manipulation, and what the hero’s doing looks all too familiar to me. This hero is SO terrible. He is so terrible that if he were the villain, I’d say the writer had gone a bit too far in making him evil.
I’m going to finish the book; maybe I’ll believe the hero’s changed enough by the end to no longer want his wife and hot ex-friend to collude in his murder.
Final rage:
The book changes what and who it’s about in the last part. We still bop between the viewpoint of the “hero” (Damian, trying to rid himself of Worst Husband in the World trophy but failing 80% of the time) and the “heroine” (his wife Cynthia, she who is all sweetness and light, who likes sex but in a good and pure way so she is not an icky h0r). But the book suddenly becomes about Julian, Damian’s ex-friend who was sadly not actually ever Cynthia’s lover, though he did at least kiss her, which her husband completely neglected to do until he got jealous.
Someone paid a mustache-twirling villain to kidnap Cynthia, so Cynthia hath been kidnapped. To get something from either her or Damian, right? Because they’re nominally the hero and heroine? Nope: to get a MacGuffin from Julian. Julian makes a massive, as in huge, as in this MacGuffin is his life here, sacrifice to save her. It turns out not to be necessary, but he was willing to do it without a second thought. Damian… takes a couple stout men and the butler to save her. Will Damian use his wits to discover her? Or at least his connections? Nah, someone comes along and drops the solution in his lap. Okay, will he have to fight for her? Nope. Does he at least break down the door?
The butler takes care of that with his handy lockpicks. The butler has more to do with saving the heroine than the hero does. Was Damian at least clever in bringing the butler and his ninja skillz along? Of course not; Damian is shocked when the butler says, “yo, I can handle the door.” I have no idea why Damian dragged the butler along. Plot contrivance, obviously, but he had no in-character reason to do so.
At the end of the book, Julian is being all dark and mysterious about the MacGuffin, saying it was cursed. We don’t find out who ordered the kidnapping of the heroine. That’s obviously in reserve for the next book, of which Julian gets to stop being the covert hero and becomes the titular one. I’m okay with sequel teasing, but this is ridiculous. This book became the next book in its last part, with “buy the next book to see the resolution!” stamped on every page.
And finally: at the end, the heroine says she has always loved the hero, and he’s like “um why, when I was such a turd to you?” (Including sticking his dick in her when she was a virgin with no preparation, then saying “thanks” and taking off. I would not forgive that, but then I am not an angel like Cynthia.) She loves him because he’s handsome. That’s it. We are expected to believe that she fell in love with him because he is pretty, and that is what kept her from accepting the advances of an also pretty man who is sensitive, makes her laugh, and treats her well. Physical attraction can hit hard, but I am completely not okay with this.
Here is what I see in store for these two yahoos:
1) Cynthia does something that is not-quite perfect. Damian decides she is beneath his notice for this. Of course, Cynthia would never do anything imperfect, if we are to believe the book, so that brings in the second possibility…
2) Damian’s carriage overturns, giving him a terrible facial injury. Cynthia immediately falls out of “love” with him. She runs off with the butler.
I don’t believe the hero is redeemed. At least at the end, when Cynthia says she has always loved him solely because he is beautiful, I stopped feeling bad for her. This book made me feel filthy. I didn’t even like the sex scenes — maybe if different characters were doing the same things, the scenes would have been fine, but I didn’t want these people to be having sex.
And yet I’m going to read the sequel, because Julian is legitimately awesome. I hope he stays awesome when we can see inside his head.
