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How to spot an abusive Dom
I only just saw this link today, and it boils everything down nicely: http://healthybdsm.tumblr.com/post/65666195806/in-the-bdsm-community-it-may-be-hard-to-tell-where ;
What it comes down to is this: a BDSM relationship is not, at its core, different from any other kind of relationship. Respect, give and take, and honesty are all necessary. Anyone who tries to tell you differently is lying about BDSM in order to abuse. That's what abusers do: they take good ideas (love, family, social justice, compassion, forgiveness, etc.) and turn them into poison.
What it comes down to is this: a BDSM relationship is not, at its core, different from any other kind of relationship. Respect, give and take, and honesty are all necessary. Anyone who tries to tell you differently is lying about BDSM in order to abuse. That's what abusers do: they take good ideas (love, family, social justice, compassion, forgiveness, etc.) and turn them into poison.
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