lliira: Fang from FF13 (Default)
CN: Anita Blake book

This chapter is both extremely horrible and actually good. No kidding: there are some legitimately good bits here; not just "good for LKH", but good. I am confused and frustrated.

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lliira: Anita Blake looking shocked (Anita eek)
CN: Anita Blake book

Chapter 25

The chapter starts with Anita leaving the bedroom to go to the bathroom. But when the last chapter ended, she was still in the bathroom. The last time she told us her location, it was to tell us that Remus was "invading our bath" (222). Between chapters 24 and 25, LKH forgot where Anita was. The best thing about this is that there's no reason for it. Anita tells us she leaves the bedroom (which she was not in) to go to the bathroom (where she already was) so she can tell us that the vampire Elinore is in the bedroom when she "returns" to the bedroom.

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lliira: Anita Blake looking shocked (Anita eek)
CN: Anita Blake book

Sorry about the delay. Life's been kicking my ass. Also, more nothing happens in this chapter than has happened in the rest of the book so far, which makes it very difficult to deal with. Its existence doesn't even make sense from an authorial wank perspective, unless LKH is even weirder than I thought.

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lliira: Fang from FF13 (Default)
While I often worry that some of my online stuff might have some kind of negative impact on me if I become a published author, Laurell K. Hamilton just posted a picture of her ass on her Facebook page. It is not a separate, private page. This is the one she talks about writing and promotes her books on. 

Really I just had to say that. Because why should I suffer alone. Who posts a picture of their ass on the social media they use for work?! Unless they're an ass model or something. 
lliira: Anita Blake looking shocked (Anita eek)
Anita's relationship with Richard is written badly, as everything is written badly in these books. However, it has far more emotion than any other of Anita's relationships. She very clearly does want to be with Richard. All the other penii are smoke and air, easily distilled into a couple traits. JC is a manipulative rapist with bad fashion sense. Nathaniel is a wereorchid. Micah is Anita's yes-man with an average-sized penis that we are supposed to think is huge. Jason is a smutty fuckbuddy. Requiem quotes poetry. The rest of the harem is a cloud of eyes and hair. Richard is the only one with any complexity or inner life. He's the only one whom I can believe keeps existing when Anita's not in the room. He's also the only one whom I believe loves her, or indeed cares for her in any way beyond a wet n'tight place to stick his dick. Actually, that's not quite true; I believe Jean-Claude cares for her as a tool with which he can gain power.

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lliira: Anita Blake looking shocked (Anita eek)
CN: Anita Blake book

I think LKH took a long break between the end of the last chapter and the beginning of this one, because they don't make sense together.

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lliira: Anita Blake looking shocked (Anita eek)
CN: Anita Blake book, pregnancy, woman treated as nothing but a womb, bestiality

I apologize in advance for not being very detailed with this chapter. It starts with something that upsets me so much, I have decided to skim it.

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lliira: Anita Blake looking shocked (Anita eek)
CN: Anita Blake book (nothing really offensive this time except very bad writing)

This is around the fourth time I've tried to start this post. That's because this chapter is... wtf. What the ever loving fuck. It's actually not particularly offensive from a moral standpoint this time, unless you consider lazy writing for which people are expected to pay money to be morally bad, which I do. You know how in first drafts, lots of people write unrelated scenes with plans to link them up in the second draft? This is what LKH did here, but she never linked them up. Also, I think it's the worst chunk of writing yet, purely from a style standpoint. It's just plain bad.

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lliira: Anita Blake looking shocked (Anita eek)
CN: Anita Blake book, phallocentrism. 

Time for sex for 16 pages. I'm not sure how to spork this. If you know anything about LKH, you already know what happens. She cannot name body parts; she does not seem to know the clitoris exists; she's phallus-obsessed; she has characters do things that aren't possible; she writes like someone who has never had sex, seen sex, or read about sex; and she writes like someone who does not inhabit a human body.

Prude porn )
lliira: Anita Blake looking shocked (Anita eek)
CN: Anita Blake book

This chapter is a foreplay/beginnings of sex scene in an Anita Blake book. That means blabbering and Issues and manipulation and grossness and weirdness. This chapter isn't quite as blatant about its rapitude as the scene in which Anita and Jean-Claude raped everyone metaphysically connected to Auggie within a certain radius (how many miles does the ardeur reach, anyway?) But it is still explicitly not completely consensual. It reads to me like LKH set out to write a consensual sex scene, but she just plain could not make herself do it.

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lliira: Anita Blake looking shocked (Anita eek)
CN: Anita Blake book, pregnancy

18 more pages of talking until another sex scene. I've been reading old LKH wank, and she said at one point that people upset by her books should go read books with less sex in them. Like what, Dr. Seuss? I was led to believe LKH's later Anita Blake books have all had lots of sex in them. I think I was misled. What this book has, so far anyway, is lots of people standing around whining about sex. How hot and edgy. It's also really boring to spork. It is much easier to make fun of sex scenes than of this endless blabber.

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lliira: Anita Blake looking shocked (Anita eek)
CN: Anita Blake book, pregnancy, embarrassment squick regarding the author's romantic relationships

I am fine with, and even enjoy, an author writing her issues out in her work. But I should have to think, “hm, I think this writer has this issue, let me see if I can find evidence to support my idea,” rather than, “STOP DUMPING YOUR ISSUES ALL OVER ME FFS I AM NOT YOUR THERAPIST!” Also, they should not be incredibly petty; constant crapping all over your ex, who was apparently evil solely because he wanted monogamy, is not on. LKH barely files the serial numbers off regarding her real life here, and I think she owes everyone who reads this book $50.

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lliira: Anita Blake looking shocked (Anita eek)
CN: Anita Blake book, pregnancy

The last chapter ended with a hint that Richard was going to kick the shit out of Nathaniel. I would have enjoyed that. Or Richard could have tried and been thwarted by the other people in the room. Something was going to happen, anyway. But of course we can't have that. All hints of plot and/or character development must be destroyed.

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lliira: Anita Blake looking shocked (Anita eek)
CN: Anita Blake book, pregnancy

I've been having a hard time continuing Danse Macabre because I have 18 more pages of bickering to get through until the characters start talking about something else. By the time I am through with this section, I will have read 50 straight pages of bickering. That's ten times as much bickering as sex in this book so far, and that's only counting this section, not the bullying of Ronnie or the strange arguments with Auggie and Thea. Plus it's entirely centered on how Richard is unhappy with Anita's sex life and how terrible he is for that. It is not only poor writing; like “Shutdown”, it's also embarrassing.

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lliira: Anita Blake looking shocked (Anita eek)
CN: Anita Blake book

The last chapter ended up being about how Anita would be fucking Sampson. Or that's what I thought it was about. So I expected her to be fucking Sampson this chapter. Silly me, thinking talking about sex would lead to sex in a supposedly sexy book.

Nope, this chapter is more talking. It's mostly Anita and Richard griping at each other. Hawt! The sfdebris guy said a scene in Enterprise was like a porn in which the woman complains about the upholstery the whole time. (http://sfdebris.com/videos/startrek/e101.php, scene starts 8:52 into part 2.) That's what this is like, except without the pretty people to stare at. It's not sexy arguing; it's petty bickering. And Anita continues to be self-centered and insufferable.

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lliira: Anita Blake looking shocked (Anita eek)
CN: Anita Blake book

This chapter makes me ill.

It consists of people sitting around talking about how they will control the lives of people who are not there. To make it even more special, it's men sitting around talking about how they're going to control the sex lives of a woman and two teenagers. A man might have to kill his wife because her sexuality is oh so dangerous, and he might have to kill one of his sons too because said wife's dangerous sexuality might drive said son crazy if she rapes him, and of course the only thing you can do with a crazy person is kill them. To wrap it all up, this whole thing is to force Anita into possibly having sex that she didn't want to have, because if she doesn't do it a man will be forced – forced I tell you! – to murder his wife and probably one of his children too.

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lliira: Anita Blake looking shocked (Anita eek)
CN: Anita Blake book

I wrote myself into an oubliette in what I'm working on, and I have no idea how to get out, which means I might have to throw out about 10,000 words, so I decided to do the next Danse Macabre chapter. Since I'm in such a good mood.

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lliira: Anita Blake looking shocked (Anita eek)
CN: Anita Blake book

This chapter is contemptible. All of them have been so far, but this one – this one. Anita's experiences in the book before this have been somewhat removed from what humans can actually experience, making her heinous morality a little bit unreal, and giving LKH the cover of fantasy. But in this one... you'll see.

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lliira: Anita Blake looking shocked (Anita eek)
CN: Anita Blake book, rape treated as a fine thing for good characters to commit

Duamuteffe had a running count of how much action there was in LKH's supposed action book Affliction. I am going to do something similar: how much sex is there in this supposed sexy book? I'll include foreplay -- what little there is of it. So far we have 5.25 pages of sex, out of 90 pages total. There was also a little bit of smoochery. No consent. Even when Anita made out with Micah and Nathaniel in the first chapter, they did it in front of an appalled onlooker and were obviously getting off on forcing voyeurism on her.

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lliira: Fang from FF13 (Default)
CN: Anita Blake story, so much spite, massive jealousy, embarrassing amounts of unintentional (?) author self-revelation

Just jumping right in...

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