My period's heavy today, as it normally is the second day. And I have no cramps. My cramps used to be worse than those of anyone else I've ever known. This has never happened before in my life. Could be the salt/chocolate combo. Could be that I no longer have anxiety. Could be that same dairy fat that killed my anxiety dead -- plenty of Greek yogurt and whole milk. Maybe it's the egg a day. Or a combination.
Maybe just maybe the vast majority of us have bodies that know what they're doing. I wish I'd listened more to mine and not food writers at The Guardian or wherethefuckever who parrot whatever propaganda's the in thing my whole life. I knew a lot of what they said was bunk, I never dieted or anything, and yet I still believed them about some things. Never again.
Eat food. Stuff you like. As much as you want.
( Read more... )
Second, The Katering Show. Fucking hilarious. My favorite episode is probably either the wedding one, the Christmas one or the one where they (pretend to) stop eating sugar. But watching them in order from the beginning makes them even funnier.
Third, here's my Sims tumblr. I didn't link it before because I was afraid of the two internet names being connected but now that I don't have anxiety any longer, fuck it. I've got some ramblings on there, and eesh avoid the "politics" tag I had a meltdown over the election (everyone else in the community was having one too so I fit right in), but the main stuff is in the "sims 2 widespot" tag, starting here. Widespot is the awesomest of Sim neighborhoods, created by author and dedicated Simmer Peni Griffin, and if you play Sims 2 you should play it.
I'm going to be talking about food a lot probably. Sorry, but being as cheerful as I was as a child solely from eating full-fat dairy has me, well, giddy. And somewhat obsessive.
I've had temper problems my whole life when I got hungry and couldn't immediately eat. Now that I'm getting a lot more saturated fat, a bit more protein, a bit less carbohydrate, way less wheat, and more salt (within the "average American" range) -- I'm fine. I can be hungry for quite some time and just feel hungry, nothing more. No headache, no feeling out of control. I'm able to deal with crap much better generally. I had some computer problems a few days ago and was annoyed but very manageably so.
I'm also no longer Godzilla when I wake up in the morning. Nor does it take me a long time to drag myself out of bed. I wake up, I lie there for maybe 10 minutes, I get up. I'm a bit out of it but fine. I'll never be a morning person, but mornings are no longer a horrible ordeal for me and everyone foolish enough to interact with me.
I'm no longer cold all the time. When I last had this much energy, I was a teenager. I'm craving vegetables. Also my sweet tooth is diminished -- though if that ever disappears entirely, I'll start thinking I've been body-snatched.
I finally got fully through kicking that (100% legal and pushed as the solution to my problems, the motherfuckers) shit last year.
Then the election came and I went kersplat for months. While Trump winning shook me, that wasn't what knocked me flat. When I saw the way so many people supposedly "on my side" reacted, I dove head-first into cracking the echo chamber I'd been stuck in wide open. I've never done well, emotionally, in echo chambers. Cliques give me a rash. I've always had friends who didn't like each other. So that helped.
But what finally pushed my head back up above water was getting more dietary fat, particularly dairy fat. I have not had this much energy since my 20s. Kind of a problem, since my body is still a wreck in many ways -- I can't even walk around the block without severe pain, let alone run around it. It's still great.
Combination of burnout and a real change in online culture that I can't stomach. Also why I noped out of my Tumblr. I do have a Tumblr for my Sims still, pm me if you care to see it.
All I know is that this is unbearable. And I'm terrified for the people in my family who live in Paris. I never dreamed I would be thinking maybe they would be safer if they moved back to New York.
I'm worried, because when I start fangirling a romance author, I then read a book by her that's either 1) incredibly offensive 2) incredibly boring or 3) wildly anachronistic. I'm not a stickler for details, and I definitely don't expect Austenian language, but when you have characters in the 19th century with worldviews and ways of expressing them that make them sound like people on the internet in 2015, that throws me out of the book entirely.
But the Tessa Dare books I've read so far have all been funny, sexy, sweet, moving, well-imagined, and neither anachronistic nor overly historically accurate in a way that strangles the story. I adore them. I've only read three so far, the Castles Ever After series, but I have everything else she's published on order from the library. I'm buying the Castles series with birthday money, and with how broke I am, that means a ton. The only other book I've bought in the past year was by Lois McMaster Bujold. So, yeah, recommended.
Well, not a review, just a recommendation. I never know how to write positive reviews without spoilers. But: Romancing the Duke by Tessa Dare. It's funny, sexy, and just generally really good. It ends up being kind of a love letter to the idea of fandom.
I think she is going to pull it off and will change how the world thinks about gender roles in romance novels and yeah you know I'm bullshitting. The thing is, because of EL James, I do not seem to have any anger left toward Stephenie Meyer. So I find this very, very amusing. Also, as many people have already mentioned, I wonder how long until EL James writes a gender-swapped 50 Shades. A month maybe?
(Btw, this is one reason I love Dragon Age. It grapples head-on with religion, rather than pretending a society like ours could have happened without it.)
I have no idea if Aristotle believed in zero, and I do not trust the internet to tell me the truth about this. I do believe, however, that I have just reached my limit. It's been coming for a long time, but now it's very much here. I am tired of trying to bail out the sea with a teaspoon. Maybe this is what middle age is.
I am going to be stewing about this all day at least.